Social Triggers

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Taking social situations and dissecting them to understand why people act the way they do.

Who am I?

Tristan - Trizzy - Trigger Tris

Just a dude fascinated by the weirdeness of human interaction.

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June 24, 2011

Facebook (un)Friends

What is the deal with people, that I never interact with face-to-face, adding me as a friend on Facebook? What makes them think that I’m gonna talk to them over a cyber social network?

At least once a week, I get a random person trying to add me to their extensive list of pseudo-friends and it’s getting really annoying.

Photo courtesy of blog.timesunion.com

I used to accept the friend requests just because I would feel bad, but why should I feel bad? It’s not like we’ve had a long-standing relationship or even talk at all. I guess people don’t know the unwritten rules of social media - oh well.

So unfriending has become a favourite pastime of mine over recent months. It may sound mean but this wouldn’t be necessary if people just knew a little more about Facebook etiquette.

All you guilty parties, if you’re not getting my friend confirmations, it’s probably because we’re NOT friends.

Womp, Womp!

Photo courtesy of fbknol.com

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June 23, 2011

From Toddlers to Techies

Photo courtesy of stiel.worpress.com

Where do we draw the line? Nowadays, kids are being born into a world of technology, where toys are replaced with devices like iPads and books replaced by the internet. Instead of going outside to play catch or ride a bike, parents are giving their kids electronic forms of entertainment to pass the time. Is this exposure to media detrimental to the social development of children? Yes and no.

I’ve just started volunteering for Centennial College’s Kids Media Centre with a few colleagues and we’ve touched on some extremely interesting issues with children and the media that they are consuming.

Starting as early as five-years-old, kids are looking to connect with their friends online. I actually read up about kids’ social media websites and I was appalled at how many actually exist.

AdAge.com published an article titled, “Kids Flock to Social Nets, but Few Advertisers Dare to Follow,” which mentions sites like Togetherville, Moshi Monsters and Everloop. I’m sorry but I was not aware that three-year-old kids needed to connect with anyone other than their immediate families. Seriously, do they even know what a friend is? What’s even crazier is that these sites combined are raking in hundreds of millions of dollars a year - without paying advertisers!

Moshi Monsters, a gaming site for three-year-olds, is estimating the number of users to hit 70 to 80 million, across 200 countries. Really?! Leaves me shaking my head.

Reading stuff like this is really making me think that this whole techie era is going way too far. I am and have been a serious advocate for social networking and social media, but when it’s hitting an audience that can hardly even put sentences together, I get a little worried - OK, no, VERY worried. What are parents thinking?

It kills me that I have to do this because I love what the internet has done for my life but I have to make a vow. I will be a parent that will encourage real-life socialization to ensure a natural integration into my son or daughter’s community. I vow that I will not let social networking and media interrupt their ability to form and grow relationships face-to-face. Lastly, I vow that my three-year-old will not be asking to use my iPad.

Sorry future son/daugher, you might hate me for it when you’re young but you’ll thank me when you’re older.

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June 21, 2011

Social MEdia: Keep In Line While Online

New public relations professionals, such as myself, are entering an industry in which image and reputation are crucial in succeeding.

The PR world looks upon newbies like us with judging eyes. All the pressures of school work, networking and interviewing for jobs are enough to bring any softy to tears. That’s why we learn to grow a thick skin. There’s no such thing as a PR wussy.

It’s kind of scary to know that we’re being judged before we even meet with potential employers. There are so many avenues an employer can take to paint a picture of an job applicant: Facebook page, Twitter feed, LinkedIn profile, blog posts; just to name a few.With the onset of the social media revolution, we’re now more of a brand than ever.

We must have our own brand mission, vision and values. We should show consistency in the product and services we provide our clients. We need to think of the bigger picture. Who is Tristan Torralba? Why should we trust him to produce and deliver the best work possible? Remember, potential clients and employers are always asking themselves this one question:

“What’s in it for me?”

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Personal branding is really interesting to me. I never thought of myself as a brand before getting into the PR game. It’s a weird feeling. I became more self aware and quickly noticed that I haven’t been building the best personal brand for my career.

All of my guilty pleasures have now fallen to censorship. Gone are the days of explicit language, party photos and fun, but inappropriate banter. I embrace it, though. It’s a small sacrifice to work in an industry so diverse and exciting.

What I put out to the online community from personal social media accounts is reflective of my brand, regardless of it’s for personal use. It’s scary that once something is put online, you can count on it being there forever. The past can swiftly get you fired.

To all you aspiring PR pros, now is the time to evaluate what messages and image you are conveying to the public. You could be one tweet away from getting fired.

It’s not a good look.

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June 21, 2011

Hopeless Semantics - Part One

Disclaimer: I am not a dating guru, in any sense of the title. This is just my view on why men fail with women.

Some of us believe that we can find the perfect love. In fact, deep down, many of us are counting on it. Hopeless romantics internally reference movies like The Notebook and 500 Days of Summer to re-establish their optimism for romanticism and magic. After all, movies make it look so easy…

Photo courtesy of cfilmc.com

And then real life hits you up-side the head.

Real love can be really hard to find; not only to find, but to maintain and sustain. Unfortunately, we’ve been conditioned by society and the media to act a certain way to attract the people we want. Some of it is gold, but most of it is absolute garbage.

The truth is that there is no set formula to build attraction between you and another. We all possess a unique vantage point on romance and love that can’t be anticipated by a complete stranger. This is why even the best looking and most charming people don’t succeed in every attempt at attracting someone. If there’s no attraction, or what some refer to as the ‘spark,’ there is no chance.

Men and women operate on different wavelengths. Hell, we might as well be classified as different species. It’s a simple fact of life; we will never truly understand each other. I’ve come to terms with that, yet I find myself trying to understand the opposite sex anyway. I’m simply fascinated. Truth be told, I’ve been lucky in past months. I’ve been placed in an environment, rich with beautiful and intelligent women who have given me some priceless perspectives into the female psyche.

Also, having a highly-analytical mind has served me well. Now, I’m in no way suggesting that I’m debonair or even slightly good with women. I actually used to suck with women. I wasn’t privy to the wants and needs of the opposite sex and I found myself lost after ending a long-term relationship a few years ago. I’ve been there and done that. Time to move forward.

It took a while but I’ve learned immensely over the past few years. I became socially aware and socially well-calibrated. By paying attention to the interactions between men and women, surrounding me on a daily basis, I’ve been able to spot trends around what women want and especially what they DON’T want.

On Thursday, I was out with some of my girls and it was funny to watch them get hit on. I sat there while each guy (I counted about 10 - 15) blurted out their best pick-up lines* only to get blown out every time. There was a guy that was trying to pitch them a reality t.v. show - FAIL. Some dude asked me to “share the wealth” and to “toss one (girl) over” to their table - FAIL. Some guys came back twice to have another go at it - FAIL.

Photo courtesy of divorcedwomenonline.com

It just got me thinking about how women want to be approached. There’s a big discrepancy between what guys think girls want and what girls actually want.

It’s sad because so many men and women are constantly looking for that ‘magical’ moment when they get swept off their feet; but it never comes. Do you know why?

Poor communication. Look, some guys approach women as if they are pieces of meat, whistlin’ and hollerin’ at them with absolutely no respect. Will that get you the girl? If the girl is bat s*** crazy, maybe. Will the “Hey, what’s your sign?” line work? Nope. Will grabbing their ‘assets’ get you anywhere? Hell no! (well maybe put in jail but that’s no fun.)

All this communicates is that they are after that ‘one thing.’

Don’t get me wrong. Women have sexual desires too but, for the most part, women want something more; something real. They want to go home feeling like they’ve just met the person of their dreams. They want to fall head-over-heels in love.

Men do too, even if some won’t admit it. They just don’t know how to get it. Social norms of North American society have put all the pressure on men to make the first move. Women hardly ever approach a guy they like because of the way society has conditioned us. It’s not easy for men but it’s not impossible.

So how many times do we have to be told that men don’t understand women? Come on! We hear it all the time, yet we don’t do anything about it. A crucial step in attracting the women you want is being able to understand them. Let’s break this down mathematically:

Misunderstood woman + ignorant man = rejected man + unsatisfied woman

Misunderstood woman + understanding man = mutual understanding + mutual satisfaction + potential future

It’s all in the math people. Men, get to studying.

Photo courtesy of marketplace.secondlife.com

Hopeless Semantics - Part Two: Attraction Switches coming soon!

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May 30, 2011

If you like making social gatherings extremely entertaining and funny, Twister Hoopla is the game for you.

It was actually featured on the Ellen Degeneres Show.

Warning: Twister Hoopla may involve the unusual touching of body parts on others and will cause EXTREME social awkwardness. True story.

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May 30, 2011

Walking Amidst Blurs

Living in such a fast-paced environment, we often cross paths with strangers and most of us remain estranged. Blurs of society buzzing about, each with their own agendas and destinations. You see the occasional smile or nod but the days of traditional social etiquette are numbered. It’s as if conversing with a stranger is taboo. Even the simple ‘THANK YOUs’ when you hold the door open for someone are few and far between. How difficult is it to acknowledge one’s presence and good deed? People have become ignorant and individualistic. Altruism has taken a back seat to selfishness. Most actions nowadays are self-motivated and, quite frankly, lack respect. So how do we deviate from this awful trend?

I propose a challenge.

I challenge everyone reading to say hello to someone new in the next few days. If you see a sad face across the way, make it a point to smile with the intention of simply making someone else feel better. If someone holds the door for you, say ‘thank you’ like you mean it. These are very simple things we can do to make day-to-day life more enjoyable and fulfilling. Everyone has those gloomy kind of days. Let’s try to make those days brighter. And, you never know, these tiny gestures could unite you with someone from your future.

Challenge accepted?

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May 29, 2011

Social Triggers: Social dynamics from the eyes of Trigger Tris.

You like people-watching! I know you do.

If you weren’t staring at your computer or phone right now reading my blog, you’d be sitting out in public somewhere, staring human interaction in the face with judging eyes. Don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed that I’ve just called you out on the blogosphere. I am just as guilty as you are. No, wait - I’m probably worse than you.

I may sound like a serious creeper right now but I can’t deny my fascination with the way people behave socially. Let’s get one thing straight, however - I’m not one of those people that just blatantly stares, overtly trying to evaluate a certain social situation. I am way too stealthy for that. There’s something called “peripheral vision,” people. Use it.

What makes it so interesting to me?

Why do some people think it’s socially acceptable to pick their noses on the bus and wipe the dirty-ass snot on the seat beside them? Why has chivalry seemingly become extinct? How do people make friends with individuals that personally irk me?

All of these questions can be explained through the examination of social conditioning.

Each of our views are subjective when it comes to the social constructs within which we live. We have all been conditioned to follow a specific set of social rules but, just like our genetic make-up, our social calibration is unique to us. This accounts for the varying beliefs around acceptable social behaviour across the board.

It all stems from the social institutions in which we were born. Social conditioning starts from the second we are conscious and aware of our surroundings and continues until we lose our ability to absorb knowledge.

We are constantly picking up social cues from our surroundings. Society dictates everything we do, whether we like it or not. That jacket you’re wearing is a result of trending fashion. Your vocal tonality and volume are subject to the environment in which you’re speaking.The jokes you tell may be acceptable within your social circle but totally offensive outside of that.

As much as society is a product of us, we are a product of society. Are you ready to delve deeper into social behaviour than you have before?

Good, because this blog is dedicated to dissecting human interaction, society and, really, just pointing out some really outlandish, funny and obscene behaviour that I witness first-hand in this crazy world we live in.

Speaking of outlandish, funny and obscene social behaviour…

On that note, ughhhh I’m out.

Trigger Tris

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